


The Lurking Woman

by Anonymous



Category: Dishonored (Video Games)
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29619243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: After fifteen years in hiding, Billie wonders who she truly is.
Kudos: 6
Collections: Five Figure Fanwork Exchange 2020





	The Lurking Woman

She stood on the docks of Dunwall, looking out at the sunrise. The last time Billie was here she had been on the Dreadful Wale. That day her nerves were on edge and was stomach heavy upon realizing she was too late to warn the Empress and the Lord protector of Delilah’s coup. It was only after a drenched Emily Kaldwin climbed onto the dock of the ship that Billie thought there may be a way to save her dear friend, Anton Sokolov.

So many things had changed since that fateful day. The biggest one being that the Outsider no longer walked in the Void but among man. The fault ultimately lay with Billie, but she held no regrets towards her actions a few weeks ago. Then again, neither did the damned kid. Overwhelmed, yes, but he never mentioned an ounce of regret.

Billie didn’t know what to do with herself now that she had finished what she set out to do; albeit not in the way she ever intended. Daud was dead and the Dreadful Wale lay at the bottom of the sea. She thought about getting another ship using the coin Emily had sent her. The idea was tempting, but Billie’s stubbornness and drive to earn what she got on her own merit squashed this idea.

Being back in Dunwall brought a mixture of emotions. Billie would’ve preferred to avoid the cursed city entirely. However, again, there was the slight matter of the Outsider being alive. Sparing him had felt like a betrayal to Daud, but when it came down to it Billie couldn’t bring herself to end his life. 

His fate had been forced onto him. He never had a choice. Daud, Billie, and everyone else did. The kid wasn’t any more to blame for their actions than any of the damn things in the void were. Billie had made the choice to betray Daud all those years ago. The Outsider had no part in it.

She parted with him two days after arriving in Dunwall. Taking him to Dunwall felt like it was the least Billie could do before they parted for the last time, since she thrust humanity back on him with little to no warning. He’d now be Corvo and Emily’s problem. Once they got over the shock, they would figure out what to do with him and keep him out of trouble.

These past few weeks of travelling together had proven that the Outsider would always remain a cheeky little shit. He had grown on Billie, but her future remained uncertain. Travelling with the Outsider on her heels was not ideal. He’d be better off in Dunwall tower and out of her hair while she figured out her path in life. Besides, he seemed eager to return to Corvo and Emily, who were obviously the two favorites out of all the ones he marked.

The Outsider, or Thomas as Billie had to remind herself to call him, would be fine. Billie chose the name “Thomas” because he claimed he couldn’t remember the name he had all those thousands of years ago. It was there, floating around somewhere in the back of his mind, but he said whenever he opened his mouth, it refused to come out.

She suggested “Thomas” on a whim, and he seemed to like it. Billie had put a little thought into it, but if the kid -and he was much like a kid- was happy about it, then so be it. It was the second of three names to pop randomly into her mind. Thomas was the one out of the three that seemed to sound the best on them when the Outsider spoke — or so the kid claimed.

Thinking of the Outsider’s true name being lost and his attempt to forge a new identity made Billie think about things she hadn’t wanted to think about in _years_. Names truly were funny things. They were just words, but they held so much power over their owner.

Billie had put little stock into her own name until Daud, for whatever reason, spared her life that day, giving Billie a chance to live. She had no choice but to shed her birth name. For one, Billie Lurk was a wanted woman in Dunwall, her face plastered across hundreds and hundreds of posters. It made sense to lose the name, one she never had much attachment to, anyway.

_“How did the cursed Overseers find us?”_

_Billie’s stomach drops as Daud utters those words. She struggles to breathe and knows she has to tell Daud the truth now. He deserves to know what she did after wrongfully, assuming he was no longer a fit leader. One had to own up to their mistakes, and Billie knows she must do that._

_“It’s my fault. I told Delilah where we were hidden. She wanted me to turn on you, but I can’t go through with it.”_

_Daud’s jaw tightens. “You did this.”_

_Before Billie responds, Delilah interjects._

_“Stupid child,” she hisses. “All you had to do was cut his throat.”_

_Billie shakes her head. “He deserves better! I was an idiot to listen to you!”_

_She sighs. “I suppose that is your choice, then. Daud, her betrayal would have been the sweetest, but either way the Brigmore Witches will be your end.”_

_Despite Delilah’s presence, Billie turns her attention back to Daud. She removes her mask and lowers her eyes, unable to meet his gaze._

_“I think it was always understood between us that I’d see my moment and take your place. I moved too early. You weren’t weak, like I thought,” she says. “I’m only sorry I didn’t pick a better ally. Delilah made contact with the Overseers. I thought between the three of us, we’d have you dead to rights.”_

_In the background, Delilah speaks, but Billie continues to ignore her. She keeps her focus on Daud, kneeling in front of him with her sword clutched in her hands._

_“My life is yours now. Kill me now or let me live. If it even matters to you.”_

_She again hears Delilah, but can only keep her attention on Daud. She waits with bated breath for him to respond, afraid of what he might do or say. If he kills her, Billie deserves it._

_When he finally speaks, Billie lets herself breathe again._

_“I forgive you, Billie, and my gift to you is your life,” Daud rasps out. “Get out of here and leave the city. Leave my sight, Billie. Never step foot in Dunwall again.”_

_Even in the face of betrayal, Daud still thinks fondly of her. It’s almost more than Billie can handle._

_What in the void has she done?_

She still remembered everything said between them as clear as the day it happened. Daud held little judgement in his tone and sounded almost… resigned to her betrayal. Billie didn’t spare him even one last glance before vanishing in a flurry of guilt and fear. Had she spared a second to dare cast her gaze back towards Daud, Billie doubted she would have even left.

Billie left Dunwall with nothing more than clothes on her back and a small amount of money in her pocket. She sailed to Serkonos in order to start anew, but remained adrift for her first few weeks there. 

All Billie could think during that time was what she was going to do with herself now? Billie had known nothing but killing for the past fifteen years. Taking someone’s life had never been a foreign concept to her. In order to survive on the streets of Dunwall, Billie did what she had to do. Killing and thieving had become a way of life.

She knew she could find her way in Serkonos, but it certainly wouldn’t be easy. Billie might have to turn to thievery if no work was available. Until, at least, Billie could get on her feet and find a more stable way of living.

The matter of changing her name came about pragmatically. Billie couldn’t very well be walking around Serkonos calling herself “Billie Lurk”. Some wouldn’t bat an eye at the name, but she’d rather not take any chances. Besides, she wanted to leave the identity of Billie Lurk behind and forge a brand new one. It could be the start of what she hoped was a different life.

~*~

Her “Meagan Foster” identity didn’t have any special significance behind it. The first time she said the name, she simply pulled it out of her ass on a whim. Settling into the name wasn’t that difficult. She wore many masks over the years, and this was just yet another one. Meagan Foster would help her hide and shift into a life outside of the Whalers and Daud.

She always wanted to be the Captain of her own ship, but Meagan Foster could make that dream into a reality. She worked hard, eventually gaining possession of her own ship she called the Dreadful Wale. It was a clunker of a vessel and was hard on the eyes, but it was _her_ monstrosity. 

She had very few things to call her own in her life. The Dreadful Wale wasn’t the first. However, it had the biggest impact. With her new ship, it was easy to burrow into a life as Meagan Foster. The business Meagan formed in contraband wasn’t booming, but it gave her a decent living and a purpose for the first time in years.

While living in Serkonos, Meagan kept people at a distance. She formed a few friendships with others such as Anton and Aramis, but they were exceptions to the rule. Keeping others at length was a matter of self preservation. Even with those she let in, Meagan was tight-lipped about her past. 

Some details would trickle out now and then, but Meagan let nothing slip she didn’t want to be known. If anything about her past came out, it was because she wanted to share it. However, Anton and Aramis had their own demons; especially Anton. They shared what they wanted and for Meagan it was enough.

For years, life was simple for Meagan. Well, as simple as it could get working as a smuggler in Sekronos. She could live a life outside of killing, something Daud implied he wanted for her in their last conversation. It remained outside the sphere of chaos until the Crown Killer killings started in Karnaca.

Everything happened so fast after that. One moment they were investigating the killings and the next Anton was being kidnapped by the Crown Killer, leaving Meagan no choice but to sail to Dunwall on her own and warn the Crown of the attempted coup.

Meagan expected to face Corvo, but never Emily. Still, she went with it and came up with a plan in order to rescue her dear old friend. If that meant having to work with the daughter of the woman she helped kill, so be it. She’d do what she had to do to save Anton.

Problem was, living in such proximity to Emily Kaldwin proved to give Meagan a bit of an identity crisis. She had thrown herself into this new life of smuggling contraband and tried so hard to put the past behind her. 

For the entire two months they travelled together, Meagan tried her damndest to not picture that fateful day that changed everything. Some days it was easier to not think of that day than others. The memory would often come on suddenly and without warning. She’d close her eyes and see the lifeless body of Jessamine laying there, along with the horrified look on Emily’s face before they took her.

Sometimes it happened while she was sleeping, which Meagan could deal with. The worst times were when Meagan was awake and it would just flash suddenly through her mind. It was harder to ignore when not in the throes of a nightmare.

She considered telling Emily the truth. In the beginning, Meagan squashed that idea before it became a full thought. However, the more time that passed and the more she got to know Emily, Meagan could no longer put a stop to those thoughts. They all but consumed her, causing her to feel immense guilt over what had taken place fifteen years prior.

It all culminated in Meagan breaking down and telling Emily the truth after they finally returned to Dunwall to end Delilah’s coup. She didn’t know why she told her then, but hearing Emily calling her Meagan just triggered something inside her. Once that trigger was pulled, there was no going back.

_"Meagan…”_

_She sighs. “People have called me that for a long time, but it’s a lie. My name is Billie Lurk.”_

_Emily frowns. “Everyone is full of secrets, but why do I feel you’ve got more to say?”_

_“Yeah, I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but you deserve to know the truth so I’ll just say it. “Fifteen years ago, I ran with a mercenary gang. We got paid to kill people. Some who deserved it, some who didn’t. The boss pulled me up from the Dunwall smile when I had nothing and had run out of hope,” she says, hesitating. “I — this is hard to admit.”_

_The expression on Emily’s face doesn’t change. She doesn’t even blink. “Whatever it is, spit it out.”_

_She takes a deep breath before continuing. “Our leader was the assassin, Daud and I was a part of the crew. Our last big job together we were paid to…” Her voice trailed off, the words refusing to come out._

_Unlucky for her, Emily was more than happy to finish the sentence._

_“You helped Daud kill my mother,” she spat, the words filled with venom._

_“Yes,” she admits. “I don’t know what else to say. I’ve lived a very long time wishing I could take that day back, but I can’t.”_

_Emily grew silent, and she feared the worst. Surely any moment now Emily would strike her down and take revenge for what happened to her mother. It was the only thing that made sense._

_“I can’t ever forgive you for what you did, but suffering has a way of twisting people. You’re a different woman today than you were then.”_

_She stands, looking at Emily in a mix of disbelief and sadness. “Yeah, we’ve all been hurt, but not all of us did what I did or become what Delilah became. I know you’ll never get over it, but neither will I.”_

_“I hope not,” Emily responds. “Goodbye, Billie. I’m taking the skiff and I’ll go alone from here.”_

The second Emily said her name, Meagan knew she could no longer live a lie. Meagan Foster was no more. She was Billie Lurk, past actions be damned.

~*~

Billie knew that if she was going to embrace her name, then she had to find the man who played a part in her being able to survive on the streets of Dunwall. She didn’t know why she wanted to find him again. Perhaps Billie wanted to settle things once and for all, or just give him one last thanks for sparing her life over fifteen years ago.

However, it was easier said than done. If Daud didn’t want to be found, then he wouldn’t be. She spent weeks trying to get any _hint_ of a lead. The more time that passed, the more frustrated Billie grew. Leave it to Daud to make it damned impossible to find him again. Really, she shouldn’t have been shocked. It was Daud, after all.

When Billie finally found a clue on where Daud might be, she knew there was only one reason she found out this piece of information. It was because Daud wanted Billie to find her. She felt a mixture of irritation and fondness at the fact that Daud could still keep himself hidden even after all these years. Billie supposed that once an assassin, always an assassin.

This still applied to herself. Billie often warned others not to walk up on her. There were a few times that Emily nearly ended up with a stab wound because of her tendency to appear out of nowhere, and almost always when Billie’s back was turned towards her. After nearly taking a knife to the neck, Emily started making sure Billie could always see her before closing the distance between them. It saved Emily’s life more times than Billie could count.

It took over a week to narrow down all the places Daud might be. Billie also took that week to prepare herself for seeing the old man again. The last time they were face to face, Billie had been on her knees, completely prepared for the cold steel of Daud’s blade to tear through muscle and bone, effectively ending her life in a final blow she deserved.

To say Billie was nervous was an understatement. She had no trouble admitting it, but dealing with it was another thing entirely. All those emotions came bubbling to the surface at once upon finally releasing Daud from his prison in that fight club. He looked both not surprised and surprised to see her. Only Daud could show these two emotions at the same time.

It was difficult to see Daud again. He wasn’t the man she remembered. Whatever happened these past fifteen years must’ve been hard on Daud. The man looked tired and resigned to the fate that would befall him in a few weeks.

Daud’s failing health spurred Billie’s decision to help him. Killing the damned Outsider himself seemed crazy — impossible really, but Daud directly asked for her help. Despite their past, he had come to Billie and the least she could do was help before the void took him for good.

Whenever Billie had to leave the Dreadful Wale, she wondered if that would be the last time she’d ever see Daud. He seemed to grow weaker by the day. Somehow he held on, which Billie attributed to the stubbornness of the old man. 

When Billie mentioned his failing health, Daud stared right at her with an impassive expression on his face. The words he spoke still stood with her weeks after his death.

_“Everyone dies someday, Billie. My moment simply is closer than others,” Daud says in this matter-of-fact tone that causes Billie’s stomach to twist into knots. “One day soon I’ll be stuck in the void with the black-eyed bastard himself, which is why I need your help, Billie. So I can find some peace in my death.”_

_“Just don’t die on me until I come back, old man,” Billie mutters while preparing to leave the ship._

_Daud gives her a weak chuckle. “I’ll do my best not to croak until you get back, Billie.”_

_“That’s all I ask, Daud.”_

True to Daud’s word, he didn’t die until an hour after she returned to the Dreadful Wale. Watching Daud take his last breath, brought out a myriad of emotions in Billie. She didn’t know what the hell to do with herself now that Daud was dead. The only thing Billie could think of doing was granting the old man this one last wish.

She thought it was fitting to use the Dreadful Wale as Daud’s pyre. It marked the two different parts of her identity coming together, despite Billie’s attempts to keep them apart. No matter how hard she tried, there was no running from her past. It was a lesson Billie had learned the hard way.

While Billie felt satisfied at giving Daud a proper sendoff, there was this sick feeling that grew in the pit of her stomach as she watched her ship sink to the bottom of the ocean. For fifteen years, the Dreadful Wale had been not only her home but also for a select group of friends. It provided Meagan an escape from what atrocities she committed as Billie Lurk, but there would be no more of that. Billie had seen to that by destroying it.

Billie always planned to go through with Daud’s plan to kill the Outsider. Even after discovering Malchiodi’s journal — at least, until she entered the void and finally came face to face with him and saw where he remained trapped for the past 4000 years. As she remarked to Daud, the Outsider looked like he was in pain. He looked like he wanted to escape the void, but to no avail.

The doubt started as this small, nagging feeling in the back of her head. It grew and grew to where when she finally came face to face (so to speak) with Daud again, Billie couldn’t in good conscious fulfil his last wish. Even if everything in Billie screamed at her to grant the old man the request.

_"You brought the knife,” Daud rasps, sounding pleased with her. It's strikes Billie that even now with Daud dead and everything between them, she still wants to earn his approval. All Billie can muster up the energy to do is nod weakly. He continues, making Billie's inner conflict front and center. “I can’t hurt him — there’s nothing I can do. Only you can kill him. Go, finish it, Billie. End his miserable life.”_

_Billie swallows, still transfixed by the Outsider’s expression. “He almost looks like he is in pain. Is this really what you want? Is this really what he deserves?”_

_Daud frowns. “You know how this ends, Billie.”_

_“But I’ve found another way, Daud. The Outsider lived and breathed once, spending his days on the streets of some forgotten city. These cultists took everything away from him — even his name. But I know what it is. His name is the mark and only the dead can read it. If we give that back to him, he’ll be free. He’ll live out the rest of his days as a man like any other.”_

_“The mark? No, you’re here to kill him,” he says, voice trembling. “You can’t ask me to do this, Billie. Not after everyone he’s hurt… not after everything we’ve done.”_

_The words Daud speaks causes Billie’s anger and annoyance to bubble to the surface._

_“Why is he to blame for what we did? He gave us a way to fight back, and he never lied about what we might become,” Billie argues._

_Daud keeps insisting he needs to die. That every one of their choices is his fault, but Billie refuses to accept this._

_“I saw the cult who hurt him! He died once at their hands,” she says. “Just look at him, Daud. This wasn’t his choice. He never asked for this power.”_

_He scoffs. “Then end it. Put him out of his misery, if you pity him. It’s a better future than anything that might wait for him out there.”_

_“But does he have to die? Years ago, I did something terrible to you. I didn’t deserve to live, but you let me walk away and gave me a chance. Let him live, Daud. Let him have the life he lost. Like you did for me.”_

_Suddenly, Daud’s eyes soften. Billie’s words seem to have finally gotten through to him._

_“When you left Dunwall, I hoped you could live a better life without me. A life where you wouldn’t be killing for coin until someone came to betray you,” Daud tells her, reaching out with one hand to grasp her shoulder. “Forgiveness is a rare thing in this world, Billie. You are far better than I ever was.”_

_She watches, heart slowly breaking as Daud walks up to the Outsider. He whispers in his ear before turning to Billie, an almost smile playing on his lips._

_“Goodbye, Billie.”_

_While it kills Billie to say goodbye to Daud for good, she is happy that he can finally be at peace._

_“Goodbye, Daud,” Billie says, barely able to muster up those words as Daud quickly fades from view._

_With Daud gone, Billie turns her attention to the Outsider, whose eyes turn from black to a grey, hazel color. He looks confused, but also at peace._

_All Billie can think is, what the hell is she going to do now?_

~*~

When Billie finally comes out of her musings, she realizes the sun has long since risen in the sky. She shakes her head in disbelief, but doesn’t think about it any further. The one good thing is that her ship out of Dunwall is closer to arriving. A quick look at the clock in the bar nearby tells Billie she only has about another thirty minutes to wait.

She can’t help but feel antsy at the prospect of spending any more time in Dunwall. To curb the feelings of anxiety, Billie lights her pipe and smokes. If Anton were with her, he’d be looking at Billie with a look of concern and judgement. 

It never failed to annoy Billie when he did that. She knows he meant well, but the famed inventor indulged in a variety of things back in his day. He was not one to judge her for smoking in order to calm her nerves. Luckily, the old man never did more but sigh and give her a side eye.

Billie had just finished smoking when a hand grasped her shoulder. Her eyes narrowed, and she was quick to turn around. Grasping her sword with her void struck hand, Billie held it an inch away from the offender’s neck. When she realized it was Empress Emily Fucking Kaldwin herself, Billie scowled and put away the sword. 

Emily was no threat to her, and though the relationship remained complicated, Emily belonged to the small circle of people Billie trusted. However, just because this was true didn’t make it any easier to see the Empress. 

“When will people learn, it’s a terrible idea to sneak up on a former assassin!” she muttered, exasperation clear in her tone.

Emily had not learned her lesson about sneaking up on her. Billie thought the past few months would’ve smartened it up, but it obviously had not.

She laughed, completely unphased by Billie’s outburst. “It’s good to see you again, Billie.”

She sighed. “How did you even know I was here?”

Billie had only come to Dunwall to deliver Thomas to Emily and Corvo. She never intended to speak with either of them face to face. Perhaps it was the cowardly thing to do, but she hadn’t seen Emily since that night on the Dreadful Wale when she told her about her past and true identity. 

“The Outsi — I mean, Thomas told us you were planning to leave early this morning,” Emily explained.

Billie sighed again, Emily’s words only confirming her theory. “Why am I even surprised the kid spilled my secret?”

When Billie noticed Emily staring at her void arm, she quickly rolled her sleeve back down and shoved her hand in a pocket. It wasn’t as if Bille had an issue with her missing right arm, but Emily’s guilty and apologetic gaze made Billie somewhat uncomfortable. 

She knew what Emily had done with Aramis. The Outsider had explained everything during their journey back to Dunwall. After first learning the truth, Billie was angry that Emily took that choice away from her, but logically she knew it was the right thing to do because it spared one of her closest friends from suffering a mental break.

“Empress, I am politely asking you to wipe that look off your face. I know about what you did back in the dust district and I hold no ill will towards your actions,” Billie said dryly.

Emily blinked, a weak laugh escaping her. “How did this happen then? I thought I had changed things.”

“Thomas did this when he was still the Outsider. He said he wanted to give me back what I had lost. He’s apologized since, so I suppose that’s something.”

“I suppose it is,” Emily responded softly — too soft for Billie’s liking.

Billie had forgiven the kid. He genuinely seemed apologetic for his actions. There wasn’t any part of her that mourned the loss of her arm or eye. She could survive without them. Besides, because of the void, they still existed in some sense.

“Why is it you are here talking to me right now, Empress?” Billie asked, quickly changing the subject because she was genuinely curious why Emily had left Dunwall tower just to speak with her before she left.

Emily gave Billie a wistful smile. “I’d prefer it if you called me Emily, Billie. Surely we are on a first name basis by now, aren’t we?”

“Are we?”

Billie wanted to add ‘after the part I played in your mother’s death’ but she decided against it, in the end. Some things truly were better left unsaid.

“Yes, I like to think we are,” Emily said with absolutely no hesitation.

She held back a chuckle, almost not surprised at Emily’s response. “That still doesn’t explain why we’re talking right now, _Emily.”_

“I wanted to bid you goodbye and remind you that if you need anything, you only have to ask.”

Billie knew this was a reference towards her refusing to take money from Emily. It raised Billie’s hackles for a moment, but it quickly faded because the Empress only meant well in the end.

“Well, I’ll try to keep that in mind,” Billie said, eye drifting to the dock in time to see her ship finally coming in. “So I suppose this is goodbye. I’ll be seeing you, Emily.”

Emily nodded, smiling softly. “Goodbye, Billie. I hope you find whatever you're looking for.”

In an hour, Billie settled onto the ship. She noticed Emily still waiting at the dock and couldn’t help but scoff at how sentimental the Empress was being. One day Billie would come back to Dunwall. For the moment Billie had no plans to do so, but one never knew what the future could hold.

She was going to head back to Serkonos first and see Anton and then Aramis. Billie would spend a few days with them and try to figure out what the hell she wanted to do now. For the third time in her life, Billie was starting over. This time, however, it wasn’t out of desperation or her running from her past.

It was because Billie made a decision to do so, which is perhaps the most important thing of all.


End file.
